“The Way Up”
In 1990, my mother died. She was hit by a drunk driver while riding her bicycle to work, and died while still in a coma a week later.
I was 13 years old.
It took me many years to finally feel at peace with this (as much as one ever can), only to find myself suddenly revisiting her memory while on my honeymoon 16 years later in Aruba of all places.
While my new bride was at the spa I was working on writing music since Ive never really been a “spa” guy.
I found myself all of a sudden stricken with sadness in the thought that my new wife would never get to know her would be mother in law, and my mother would never get to know this woman I had just chosen to start a new life with.
This was followed by an even sadder thought of “what if we had children”?
My joy of being on my honeymoon had now shifted, and the feeling in my heart at this point was very heavy.
I was realizing for the first time that not only did my mother die with me, but she also died in regard to her new daughter in law, and her possible future grandchildren.
My future children would never get to know this amazing person that I credit for being the foundation of the person I constantly strive to be, and they would never get to learn from her or be shaped by her as I was.
I started venting into my laptop, singing rough lyrics into the built in mic and trying to get all of this emotion out with an intense purpose.
The song originally titled “Aruba track” as a working title, ended up being “The Way Up”.
My logic was simple, write a song specifically about the fear of forgetting someone that I lost a long time ago, and in the course of doing so I might make my mother immortal in a sense, invoking her memory every time I heard the song.
Hopefully after sharing this background story into one of my favorite (and oldest written) songs on my new album “Hour Peghi Eight”, her memory will live on though the emotions of others that also resonate with this special piece of music.
“Im gonna make my way, gonna find a way out. Im gonna make you stay, gonna find a way up.”
My quest to hold on to my mothers memory is a challenging and never complete process, hopefully within this song Ive found the way up.
Artist: Khaz
Track 7: The Way Up {5:20}
what do you say, when you start to see end.
would I turn around, and do it all over again.
cause I know I’m gonna go, don’t want to hear I told you so,
you gotta trust me.
when I look away, my only thought is you my friend.
what better way to start, than the way that we began.
and am I better off, with the future I command.
some say I look the part, but they cannot see whats in my heart,
you gotta trust me.
and if I go too far, will you ever understand.
don’t stop-don’t break-don’t fall-gotta make it all the way to the top.
gonna make my way, gonna find a way out,
don’t stop-don’t break-don’t fall-gotta make it all the way to the top.
I’m gonna make you stay, gonna find a way up.
don’t stop-don’t break-don’t fall-gotta make it all the way to the top.
I’m gonna make my way, Im gonna find a way out,
don’t stop-don’t break-don’t fall-gotta make it all the way to the top.
I’m gonna make you stay, gonna find a way up.
don’t stop-don’t break-don’t fall-gotta make it all the way to the top.
gonna find a way up.
gonna make my way, gonna find a way out,
I’m gonna make you stay, gonna find a way up.
gonna find a way up.
I’m gonna make my way, I’m gonna find a way out,
I’m gonna make you stay, gonna find a way up.
gonna find a way up.
gonna find a way up.
gonna find a way up.
gonna find a way up.